Let's Talk About the Lil Nas X Controversy

 Heyo! So I originally had other plans for this week's posts, but this is something I am very passionate about and I figured why not voice my opinion since it seems like everyone else is.

You obviously need some background as to why this is a subject near and dear to my heart. I am a 24-year-old non-binary pansexual person. I came out to my family in 2015, when I was 18. So I've been out for 6 years. Before I came out, I was raised in Christianity. I cannot imagine life before going to church.

My family was religious. When I was 18, I got the option to stop going to church; plus I went away for college. I've gone back to church since on holidays, but other than that I left the church. I do not consider myself a Christian anymore. I left the church because of God and the follower, who call themselves Christians but only spread hate. I have no beef with Jesus Christ. We're cool.

Why did I leave the church? Because ever since I was a child, I had it drilled in my head that "gays go to hell". I've known I was queer since second grade. Do you know how scary it was for me to find a girl cute and panic because I didn't want to go to hell. I was a CHILD! For most of my life I fought these feelings. I wanted to be "normal".

NOW this is something I've never really told anyone seriously. So when my dad inevitably reads this he's going to be upset at what he's about to read. Sorry dad, but this is just how I feel.

If there is a hell, I have already come to terms with the fact that I am going straight there after death. Why? Because I am queer so I don't plan on only having relationships with cis men. And I am not planning on repenting on my deathbed. So if what I've been taught my whole life is true, I already have a one-way ticket to hell.

Let's get into why you clicked on this link. It's time to discuss Lil Nas X's music video for "MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name)". I will not talk about the shoes because I know very little about them and I am honestly, too lazy to research them.

I am solely talking about the music video because I've watched it more times than I can count because I am mesmerized by it. That video is a cinematic masterpiece. Let me tell you why.

In case the video I inserted above is wrong, here is the link to the video if you haven't seen it yet. The video opens with a title screen in what seems like heaven. Then it pans down to Earth where we see a serpent who turns into a humanoid creature (played by Lil Nas X) overlooking what I assume is Eve or Adam (also played by LNX). I assume it's Eve because the serpent pursues them and it alludes that they have some form of sex. Seems like oral, but I'm not here to analyze that. I imagine this symbolizes Eve "taking the fruit" from the serpent, as it says in the Bible. Some people have argued that "taking fruit" in Biblical terms actually means having sex.

Then the video goes to LNX in a pink wig and outfit being put on trial. The prisoner who is chained is in pink, but the people who are trying them are all in blue. My interpretation of this is that the prisoner is going against the flow, which in this case could be being gay.

Then the prisoner is stoned to death and they are ascending to heaven before a giant pole appears. LNX basically pole dances into hell. I absolutely loved this part. Mostly because I knew it was going to piss off Christians. We see LNX in a different outfit now which includes this pair of INCREDIBLE knee-high boots. It was a LOOK! LNX struts into where the devil is and starts giving him a lap dance.

THE AUDACITY made me so damn happy. Then the video ends with LNX killing the devil and taking his horns, which I assume is his crown. LNX sprouts wings and becomes the new leader of hell.

This whole thing was beautifully shot. Probably mostly shot on a green screen, but the effects were amazing.

What made me fall in love with the video was not only the imagery of Eden, Eve, the Serpent and Hell, but also Lil Nas X's response.

He Tweeted:

i spent my entire teenage years hating myself because of the shit y'all preached would happen to me because i was gay. so i hope u are mad, stay mad, feel the same anger you teach us to have towards ourselves.

 I completely agree with what he is saying. Even though I have been out for 6 years, I have only been "out and proud" for less than half of that time. I have been out for 6 years to my family and my best friends, but I still deal with internalized homophobia. I have been out for 6 years and I still sometimes wish I could just be straight and cis.

I was taught to hate myself because I was an abomination. Being queer and not being cis because "God only made two genders" made me want to die. I still deal with that TO THIS DAY!

We have been told we're going to hell for YEARS and because he actually decided to make a video where he did go to hell, the same people who spoke it are up in arms, angry.

ALSO I want to discuss the argument of "but he has a large following of children". Okay, and? It is not his job to monitor YOUR children.

To those parents, I say stop being lazy. Stop neglecting your child. Stop sitting them down in front of a screen because you'd rather not deal with them.

Celebrities are not supposed to limit and censor themselves because YOU are too lazy to check on what YOUR kids are watching. I am sick of people always trying to argue "wHAt ABouT tHe cHIldRen!?!".

What about them? Do you know where your children are? Do you know what they are watching? No. Then make sure you find out.

I want to close this post with a letter that Lil Nas X released. It is a letter he wrote to his 14-year-old self:

Dear 14-year-old Montero, I wrote this song with your name on it. It's about a guy I met last summer. I know we promised to never come out publically, I know we promised to never be 'that' type of gay person, I know we promised to die with the secret, but this will open doors for many other queer people to simply exist. You see this is very scary for me, people will be angry, they will say I'm pushing an agenda. But the truth is, I am. The agenda to make people stay the fuck out of other people's lives and stop dictating who they should be. Sending you love from the  future. - LNX

This letter is so beautiful. I am glad queer kids today have someone like him who has guts to be who he is in the open. I wish I had a role model like him growing up, but I had my own queer heroes that helped me. People I am still grateful for.

Thank you, Lil Nas X for having the guts to do what a lot of artist are afraid to do. Thank you for being your authentic self. Thank you for showing people that it is okay to be ourselves. Thank you for showing us that nothing is wrong with us. Thank you so much.