On August 29, I awoke at 3am to learn the unfortunate news that Chadwick Boseman had passed away after battling colon cancer. I am beyond heartbroken and for a few hours, I was at a loss for words. He is an actor I have come to love. A phenomenal actor. Of course, I am sending my love to his family, those closest to him, and to my fellow fans. The world mourns our King.
This post is late because every single time I attempted to open it and continue typing, I would find myself crying. This has been worked on every single day of the past week. Finding photos for this post hurt. It's been hard to put my feelings into words. It just hurts.
I jumped on the bandwagon in 2018 when Black Panther came out. I was excited for a new MCU film and I was already a fan of Michael B. Jordan, Sterling K. Brown, Lupita Nyong'o, and Angela Bassett. I had only previously seen Chadwick in Captain America: Civil War. At the time I did now know that he played James Brown in Get On Up and Thurgood Marshall in Marshall, both films I had wanted to see very much.
I went with my family to see Black Panther in theaters for my birthday. The theater was completely packed so we got stuck sitting in the very front row. However, sitting so close to the screen did not change how I fell in love with the film. The following week, my family and I returned to theaters to see the film a second time.
This post is not about the Black Panther film, but I can't write about Chadwick without mentioning the role that made me fall in love with him as an actor. I hyperfixated on him and went through his filmography. I'll admit, my admiration of him started as a crush. He became a muse for my writing, inspiring some of my characters. He joined my list of favorite actors very quickly
When I hyperfixate on any celebrity, I watch interviews. Lots of interviews. It's the best way, as a fan, to get to know these heroes. I got the impression that while Chadwick was a phenomenal and talented actor, he also seemed like a genuinely good soul.
He helped me in 2018, as a muse and inspiration. The year was one of the worst for my mental health. I had just dropped out of college for a second time. My insurance was making it impossible for me to see a therapist. I turned to Chadwick's films as a distraction from my issues. As I mentioned, I hyperfixated on him. It started as a crush and turned into just an appreciation and admiration for his talent.
He really did become his characters. Which is hard to find, nowadays when just anyone can become an actor.
This past week, I tried to rewatch Black Panther, but I was not emotionally ready. It's like after Cory Montieth passed, I was unable to rewatch old Glee episodes for years. However, I was able to watch Da 5 Bloods. I went into the film completely blind and I did enjoy it, but in retrospect, I think I should have chosen a different film of his to watch. Something less heavy.
Chadwick will forever be known as an icon, a real superhero, and a King. He is someone we never deserved, but I am grateful for the work he gave us. I never met him, but he is someone I will miss for the rest of my life. I am eternally grateful to exist at the same time as him and to have witnessed his work and to be able to revisit it.
It is a loss I will mourn forever. My heart goes out to those closest to him.
Thanks for everything, Chadwick.
REST IN ETERNAL PEACE, MY KING!
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