Fangirl Friday: Joe Jonas

 Heyo! I know it's been a while. Honestly got hit by that seasonal depression AND THEN actual depression. Just got out of my funk finally. This was supposed to come out the week after Kevin Jonas' Fangirl Friday, but that obviously didn't happen. It's coming out MONTHS later.

Joe Jonas (2023)

The subject of today's Fangirl Friday is perhaps on of if not the most important of my parasocial relationships. The first parasocial relationship I ever had and the longest, most dramatic one. This week's subject is Joe Jonas. I wrote about Joe in Fangirl Friday: Jonas Brothers last yet. I spoke a bit about my 18-year-long parasocial relationship with the man, but I said I'd get more detailed in his own Fangirl Friday post. So here it is.

Consider this post kind of an open love letter to him. A thank you for all the times I felt alone in the world, but I could turn to his music. If by some miracle Joe EVER comes across this post: Hi, Joseph. How are you? Hope you're doing well. Looking forward to the new music.

Let's start at the beginning. Way back in 2006. I was nine years old and watching TV in my parents' room for some reason. The Jonas Brothers performed "Mandy" from their debut album It's About Time on some show. Don't ask what show because I have no idea and I have never been able to find that specific performance. I saw Joe and immediately fell head over heels in love with him. I loved his voice first before I realized oh, he's kinda cute. Had no idea that watching that performance at the time was going to affect my life so greatly for the next eighteen years and counting.

I remember the moment SO clearly. My tiny nine-year-old brain exploded. It was the wholesome equivalent of that scene in the 2022 Elvis biopic when all the women in the crowd began losing their minds when he started shaking his hips. I say wholesome because my sexual awakening wasn't for another two years.

Joe Jonas (2006)

I'll be real for a moment. Since I was a child, I decided I didn't want to get married or have kids. I made that decision when I was six or seven and I am 27 now. I have not budged on my feelings. HOWEVER, after falling in love with Joe in 2006, I decided he would be the only exception. Keep in mind at the time I was nine and he was 17. We are eight years apart. Yes, you can say my thing for older men started with him. He was the first guy I ever said I wanted to marry.

For the record, I've always loved music. My dad raised me on all genres from all generations. However, it wasn't until I heard "Underdog" by the Jonas Brothers for the first time that I knew music could make you feel seen. At the time I felt like that made that song for me specifically. They obviously didn't, but they continue making music that makes me feel seen to this day. I wrote my FIRST-ever fanfiction in 2007 about marrying Joe. It's long lost. Forever trapped on my family computer that conked out. But that opened the world of writing for me as an escape. I didn't know at the time that fanfiction was a thing that was allowed. I just decided to write out my lame daydreams and desires. And now I've posted over 100k words online in (fan)fictional writing and I have this blog. So if you are a regular reader of this blog, you have Joe Jonas to thank for that.

(L to R) Joe, Nick, and Kevin Jonas (2007)

I affectionately nicknamed Joe JoJo EARLY into the fixation and I'll be honest, sometimes I still call him that. Not as much, but it's forever in my brain. He is my JoJo forever and always.

In 2008, the Jonas Brothers came to my city on tour. They were quite literally an 8-minute drive from my house. I was ABSOLUTELY devastated when my parents said I couldn't go because we could not afford tickets. I was convinced that if I got to go, Joe would see me in the crowd and fall in love with me. Age check at this point: I was 11 and Joe was 19. So I was obviously DELUSIONAL! I remember the night of the show, sitting in my room and crying my little heart out.

I lost my mind when Camp Rock came out. Watched the premiere of it on ABCE - the day after it premiered on Disney Channel. It was the first time my parents let me and my brothers stay up past out bedtime because they knew how badly I wanted to watch it. We recorded it on VHS and I still have it somewhere. Camp Rock replaced High School Musical as my favorite DCOM. Following Camp Rock, they also premiered the music video for "Burnin' Up". The music video changed EVERYTHING!

I've already exposed myself and said that Joe in the "Burnin' Up" music video was my sexual awakening. I was 11 years old. I saw the man in those white pants and heard the weird breathing thing he does after every line of his first verse and I have never been the same. My brain short-circuited. I did not know that THAT was my sexual awakening for YEARS because I was a sheltered Christian child. I literally only RECENTLY realized that was my actual sexual awakening, having discredited another moment in my life. I had no idea why those white pants lived in my head rent-free for so long. I just knew they did. I now know WHY and those pants still rank very high on the Joe Jonas iconic pants tier list.

The "Joe Jonas iconic pants tier list" doesn't actually exist anywhere but my head, but the man likes wearing fun pants. My current favorite S-tier level is his black sparkly pants that he wore on The Tour.

NOW I have mentioned being a sheltered Christian kid. I got my own purity ring because of the Jonas Brothers. And if you asked me back then I would have PROUDLY said "I'm saving myself for when I marry Joe Jonas". No joke. Embarrassing, but true.

Joe Jonas as Joe Lucas in JONAS (2010)

Joe was my ride-or-die celebrity crush - with a few minor distractions - for my tween years. I was head over heels in love with Joe's 2008 straight-ironed hair era. At the time, I truly believed he couldn't get hotter. BOY was I wrong because his current hair and style era is S-tier. In 2009, I wasn't feeling the shaggy curly hair look - that I have lovingly referred to as Shane Gray 2.0 - and felt myself falling out of love. I don't know what 12-year-old me was THINKING because I think back on Shane Gray 2.0 affectionately now. Then he had what I've seen people refer to as his "hipster" era, but I call it Jonas LA Joe, which is the short hair and glasses era. Up until his current era, Jonas LA Joe was my favorite era of his.

After the Jonas LA era was his Fastlife era. Fastlife is his debut - and at the time of writing this his only - solo album. This era was hot, but this is the era I "fell out of love" with him. Because 12/13-year-old me was UPSET that the man had the AUDACITY to lose his virginity when he started showing up in pap photos without his purity ring. I was young, dramatic, and genuinely dreaming of marrying this man. So I was DEVASTATED! I remember this one specific photo of him and Ashley Greene I had opened on my family computer and crying my eyes out just because of the man not wearing his purity ring and what it meant. I can make fun of myself over it now, but I took that so seriously back then.

Joe Jonas (2011)

There was a lot going on in my life. I was starting high school and other things were going on. I took it all out on poor Joe. I remember telling my family that I hated him. He did not deserve that. I am sorry, Joe. I've never hated you. But I stopped calling myself a Joe girl and became a Kevin girl. Still kept up with the band, though they hadn't dropped anything since 2009/2010 with Lines, Vines, and Trying Times and then Camp Rock 2, and their Disney Channel show, JONAS.

At the time Fastlife came out I didn't like it, but that was me being spiteful and bitter because I've listened to it now and I love it. I don't need to ramble about it here because I wrote a WHOLE post about it last year for its anniversary.

(L to R) Jack Lawless, Joe Jonas, Jinjoo Lee

For the past decade, I THOUGHT I dropped Joe until DNCE, but I uncovered my old Twitter from the pre-breakup era and I was still Tweeting about him and I wished him a happy birthday in 2012. But most of my Jonas-related Tweets at the time were about Kevin and his reality show, Married to Jonas. I do clearly remember watching the Jonas Brothers breakup announcement. I wrote about it in the post I wrote about the band and I was devastated because they truly have been one of my favorite bands, and now I think my Spotify proves that they have earned back their title of my favorite band.

I did absolutely lose my mind when Kevin's daughters were born and we got to see Joe and Nick become uncles. Uncle Joe lives rent-free in my head STILL. And I barely got out alive. That ALMOST made me call myself a Joe girl again. I have never had baby fever when I see a cute child, but when I see an attractive man who is good with kids, I lose all self-control.

Joe Jonas with neices, Alena and Valentina Jonas

The first time I heard "Cake By the Ocean" by DNCE on the radio, I had a similar reaction to hearing Joe's voice for the first time in 2006. Except I didn't know that was Joe singing. His voice had changed in the BEST way. Don't get me wrong, there will always be a special place in my heart for Joe's voice pre-2015. But the way his voice has evolved and the way it sounds now in 2024 - based on those song snippets he keeps posting on TikTok - he just keeps getting better.

I remember looking up DNCE because I had CBTO stuck in my head and seeing Joe, my jaw dropped. I remember being like "THAT'S JOE JONAS?!?!?!?!" I was shook, but excited. Have kept with DNCE ever since. They were my top in my top most listened to artists over the years next to the Jonas Brothers. Forever on regular rotation.

Joe Jonas

I was still mostly "casual" keeping up with the Jonases. I followed all of them on Instagram, which was my main social media at the time. But I only had Kevin on post notification and he was the only one I was paying close attention to. I'd listen to any new music DNCE and Nick dropped, but that was it.

It wasn't until the Jonas Brothers got back together that I started paying more attention to them again. I did cry when they announced it - which they made on my birthday. I was so hyped! Saying I was over the moon is an understatement.

DISCLAIMER: Despite how things ended, he was still married to Sophie Turner for four years and the marriage produced two beautiful children. I will only mention it lightly. I will not discuss the divorce because that's not my business. everything I write regarding the marriage and children is only things he or Sophie have posted not public speculation. I will not be mentioning his children's names or anything else.

My all-time favorite photo of Joe

hen I found out Joe was engaged, I was happy for him. I'm pretty sure I commented on someone's post congratulating them. If it wasn't his post, it was probably Kevin's post because I know both Kevin and Nick reposted the engagement ring photo to celebrate. When I found out WHO he was engaged to I was excited because I had been a fan of Sophie since Game of Thrones. Also, she's only a year and a few days older than me so I wanted to fight everyone in my tween years who told me Joe was too old for me. Then they got married. I loved seeing their videos together. I was no longer in love with Joe the way I was as a child, but a lot of what they showed us of their relationship was reminiscent of my 2007 fanfiction. She was living the dream I had for myself and he seemed so happy. I loved it.

And then they started their little family. I respect their choice to keep their kids offline. They deserve their privacy. Also, I don't think I'd SURVIVE ever seeing Dad Joe in action. As I said, I barely survived Uncle Joe when Kevin's kids came along. I might go into cardiac arrest if he ever decides to post with his kids. That would be the death of me. I can BARELY handle dad Nick and he's my least favorite Jonas Brother.

I've been keeping up with the entire Jonas family - all four brothers, their partners, and Mama and Papa J. - on socials for a while. I've been on Jonas Brothers TikTok since I downloaded the app, but it was mostly casual and I was "normal" - I have NEVER been normal about anyone in that family. Let's be real.

Joe Jonas as Marty Goode in Devotion (2022)

After Top Gun: Maverick came out in 2022, I had a TGM fixation which snowballed into a Glen Powell fixation which made me watch Devotion, which Joe is in. I had NO idea Joe was in it until he popped up on my screen. I was beyond shook - I know those eyebrows anywhere. That was what opened the door to this fixation coming back. Don't give me men I'm attracted to in period clothing. And not in Navy dress whites. The fact that I didn't drop everything and go back on my Joe bullshit immediately the night I watched Devotion for the first time is SHOCKING! He looked so good in that role and I think he did a great job with his performance. It took me a few months. But I have since rewatched since the fixation hit and let me just say Marty Goode will forever live rent-free in my head just like Joe in the white tux in the "Lovebug" music video has lived rent-free in my head for 15 years.

I did go through Joe's filmography since the fixation has returned because I missed out on most of his roles. He's had me watching the most random out-of-context episodes of shows. But he did put two shows onto my radar that I intend to watch in full at some point. I'll write a separate post about my favorite roles of his because this post is already incredibly long and I'm not even done. But Will Moretti from Hot in Cleveland lives rent-free in my head with his measly two episodes.

The photo of Joe throwing the first pitch that I saw

In 2023, I saw a photo of Joe in a baseball jersey throwing the first pitch at a baseball game. I was in the middle of writing a baseball AU Criminal Minds fic and I jokingly sent the photo of Joe to one of my best friends like "he's telling me to write the fic". And then it spiraled into my joking about having him cameo and hook up with the main character. Who would have thought that three months after I jokingly threw Joe Jonas into a completely unrelated fanfiction, I'd be so back on my bullshit? I am just as deep now as I was in 2008, maybe even deeper honestly. It's worse now because I am an adult with social media. I didn't have socials the first time around so I couldn't keep up with them like I can now. At the time of posting this, I am eleven months into this fixation and it's not going anywhere. The brain rot started in July of 2023, but I didn't start calling myself a Joe girl again til the end of August.

Hilariously, I am now realizing in this second wind of the fixation, that my type is and always has been Joe. If you look at most of the men I am attracted to they're mostly all Joe adjacent. Of course, there are a few stragglers. But Joe set the blueprint in my brain for what I am attracted to. It's funny because now I can't unsee it. Every time I see a man I am attracted to it happens. I have a moment like "Oh he has [insert quality] like Joe". It's embarrassingly accurate and happens often.

Joe in his sparkly pants from The Tour

To make matters worse, Joe is chronically online and he posts often. So even if I ever want this fixation to end - which I don't - he ensures it keeps going with every post. But I truly do appreciate him. He has a habit of COINCIDENTALLY posting when I'm having a bad day,  or after I've had a breakdown. All three song snippets he's posted on TikTok, he posted when I was having an INCREDIBLY hard time. I can credit the "even baddies get saddies" snippet with getting me out of the current major depressive episode I've been on. Let's just say the man is the reason I am still here and why I keep going despite the horrors.

BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT THE SONG SNIPPETS! First of all, I have them all stuck in my head CONSTANTLY and I need him to drop the full songs. At the time of writing and scheduling this post, he did drop a pre-save link, but does not specify which song. I think the first single is going to be "even baddies get saddies" because that's what he's currently been pushing, but we'll never know. Because we don't even have a date yet. The vibes of all three snippets are immaculate. I hope he is working on a solo album,, but I would be perfectly happy with a short little EP. I just want more solo music from him. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE DNCE and Jonas brothers - they are my most-played artists after all. But I also need more solo music from him because Nick is currently my 4th most played artist - 3rd is Demi Lovato - and we can't have that. At least solo Joe is ahead of Nick Jonas & the Administration. So he's got that for now.

The photo that set the Jonas fandom ablaze

He's been my ride-or-die since 2006, even during the years I wasn't calling myself a Joe girl, he was still there for me with his brothers and their music. I never stopped listening to the Jonas Brothers even after the breakup. So again, thank you Joe for always being there.

If you have made it to the end of my ramblings about my celebrity ride-or-die of 18 years, I thank you. I don't know why it's so hard not to write more than a thousand words about these guys. even the shortest of these posts is still 1.1k words. I just have a lot to say about them, I guess.